Unrealistic expectations and thoughts about relationships
This is one of the top ten most common reasons couples don’t find solutions to their problems: their relationship expectations are completely unrealistic. Childish and immature, even. Did you really expect yourself to feel “in love” every day, all the time? Did you really expect your boyfriend or husband to change his basic personality traits or let go of bad habits? Your expectations are the biggest reason for your disappointments and pain. Your unmet expectations are the biggest source of suffering in your life.
The solution: Identify what you expect from our boyfriend or husband. Make a list, and be specific. And be honest! Pretend you’ll never show this list to anyone (and in fact, you don’t have to — you can tear it up the minute it’s written). What are your relationship expectations, and how are they contributing to the problems in your relationship? How many of your expectations are realistic? If you’re brave, you’ll show this list to someone you trust. You’ll ask for an outside opinion of your relationship expectations.
